Crises

A family can grow closer together or they can fall apart during a crisis.

First I want to define crisis. A crisis is a dramatic emotional or circumstantial upheaval in a person's life. It is also important to point out that a crisis calls for a change. You have to cope with what has happened, it is not just something that a person or a family has to get through. It is much bigger than just something that is stressing a family. It is very important that a family councils together as they deal with a crisis situation. One thing we talked about in class was how a families reaction completely changes the outcome and experience of the family. There was a formula we talked about, it goes like this:
           Actual events
            Both responses and resources
 +        Cognations                           
 Total eXperiences

My own family has had many different crises. I was thinking of a few things my family has been through and want to share an example or two to help explain. The first experience I want to talk about is the pasting of my Grandmother. This is my fathers mother. She pasted away in the year 2000. She was sick for a very long time before passing, She had been battling with cancer. I was only 8 years old when she passed so I don't remember everything, but I do remember my parents reaction. I remember that my parents sat me down individually and they explained to me what happened. I remember there were tears but that it was peaceful. My parents explained their own beliefs (which have become my own beliefs over time and study) about where grandma was now. We took each day as a family. We talked about grandma and the things we loved about her, and about memories that we had of her. I heard a lot of stories from my fathers childhood I had never heard before. The one thing I really remember is that I realized during this time how important family was. This realization has shaped a lot of who I have grown up to be. We chose, as a family, to support each other and to be happy together. I think 100% that this made us grow closer together.

The second crisis I want to talk about is something my family is currently working through. I can only give you my perspective of this situation. I can not pretend to understand my families thoughts or perspectives. When I was about 9 or 10 my older brother moved out of the house. Over the years our family has had difficulty with the decisions that he has made. He made a lot of decision that we saw as wrong, inappropriate, and contrary to our beliefs. During this time I was never really in on what all was happening. I often ease dropped on conversation to try to figure out what was going on with my own family. I understand trying to protect me but honestly I wish someone would have explained to me. My mother was very upset and depressed. my father was very quite on the subject. And my brother and I were never close enough for him to even want me to be a part of what was happening in his life. So I was left to myself and my own thoughts. I don't know if everyone just thought that it didn't effect me or that i wasn't really a part of it, but I have learned that if one thing happens to one person in a family it happens and has an effect on everyone.  I also think that this principle is part of what is helping us get this figured out now. My family fell apart during this time. We tried to be together and tried to be there for each other but we just weren't. Over time we have started to heal, and honestly we still are. We are talking to each other more, and trying to understand each other. It will take a lot of time and effort, we have been dealing ( or not dealing with it at some points) for almost 12 years.

What I would say that I have really learned from this section is how important family communication is. It determines so much of your experiences. When you share your thoughts, feelings, and understanding; family grows together.

Thanks for reading. I really appreciate it. I hope that my post are helping someone some where. Heaven knows that I have learned a lot from this class. If you have any questions about anything, please ask. Even if I haven't talked about it. I would love to explore new material with your help.