Early Marital Adjustments

     This week we talked about the first little part of a marriage. There are many adjustments that need to be made in the first week, month, and year of a marriage. The first day we talked about some of the problems that can occur in a marriage. We talked about two things in particular as examples of some of the challenges that can arise.
1.) Shared living space
     Our conversation about this was really funny. We talked about how hard it can be sharing a bathroom. You have your own morning routine that you have gotten use to over the years. Throwing another person into the routine can really mess you up. You have a place for all your stuff, or you don't care where your stuff lands. this can be frustrating to the other person. We talked about how guys generally don't clean their bathroom, and how girl will hang things up all over in the bathroom. The whole point was that you have to collaborate and work together.
     I actually got to apply this Monday night with my roommates. We have been struggling with shared living areas. Stuff gets left all over the bathroom counter, dish pile in the sink, and one roommate would sleep on the couch at night and be there until late into the afternoon. So we decided to have a meeting so we could talk about these issues. We talked about just having respect for the other people that live in the house. It can be hard to change your habits but you can try to change those things that are upsetting to others. I think it is about dealing with somethings people do, adjusting, and being patient with other things.
2.) Figure problems out together
     That last thought goes into the next topic well. in order to solve problems you have to communicate and work them out together. If you don't talk about issues it just make the issue worse or makes new ones.  There were two really great thoughts I picked up form class. The first was the marriage is a learning process. You should be becoming better through the marriage. If you are not communicating you are not going to learn anything. Just like if you went to class and your professor doesn't say a word. You will learn very much, because you only have your own thoughts. You can do the reading and homework but you only get so much out of that. I hope that makes some sense.
     The second thought is "coming together and becoming one is divine, it is not natural." This probably goes better with the first though of living spaces. It is hard to become one with another person and thus not natural. It is natural for man to put forth the least amount of effort needed. We take short cuts, we do enough to keep the other person satisfied but not quite happy, and, honestly, we do just enough to get by. This isn't divine. Becoming one is divine, as I quoted. Trying your best to understand one another, talking about what is best for your family, becoming one in thoughts and actions, and both contributing to the way your family runs.
 
     I learned a lot from this section about marriage. It's not that I didn't know that you need communication in a marriage, but now I understand better why. It isn't simply to get a task accomplished. It is more divine than that. I guess I just really loved seeing how it contribute to becoming one with your spouse and then both of you becoming one with God.